The Living Flame: Love, Loss, and the Frequency That Changed Everything

Part 1 of the Flame Keeper Series

This article is the first in a three-part series I’ve written for women navigating midlife change — especially those who sense there’s something deeper calling them forward. Whether you’re in a season of grief, reinvention, or something you can’t quite name yet, I hope this series meets you right where you are.

Fifteen and a half years ago, my husband Bob passed away. It was one of the most defining moments of my life — not just because I lost him, but because something deep inside me was activated in a way I couldn’t explain.

That same month, I went into sudden menopause.
The timing wasn’t random. My entire being — physical, emotional, spiritual — was entering a completely new phase. But I had no idea what it meant or where it would lead.

In Bob’s final moments, he spoke of the color orange. It might seem small, but it stopped me in my tracks. Bob was color blind. He never talked about colors, and especially not orange.

Later that evening, I was listening to a podcast to help myself fall asleep. The guest began speaking about the orange chakra — the sacral center, linked to creativity, sensuality, and emotional truth. That moment gave me chills.

It wasn’t that Bob was handing me a frequency.
It felt more like he was nudging me to remember — to recall something ancient and essential that lived inside both of us.

What I was remembering was the Twin Flame connection we shared.
Not in the popular, surface-level sense of destined romance or karmic drama — but as a soul-level resonance. A shared frequency we were both attuned to, even before we met in this life.

That frequency — which I now call the Living Flame — is more than a symbol. It holds the energy of:

  • Deep love that transcends form

  • Co-creation rooted in truth and intimacy

  • Purpose expressed through creativity, devotion, and presence

  • The ability to transform grief into power, and change into awakening

And I don’t believe it was just ours.

The Living Flame Lives in All of Us

Here’s what I’ve come to understand:
The Living Flame is something we’re all born with.

It’s the soul-light within us — our unique frequency — quietly waiting until the time is right for it to rise. For many people, that moment comes through great loss, great change, or great awakening. For others, it may stir without a dramatic trigger — through a quiet sense of “there must be more” or an inner fire they can no longer ignore.

When this flame activates, it doesn’t just warm us — it switches on dormant “key codes of light” within our energetic DNA.
This was a message I received through my father, who began communicating with me after he passed. A scientist in life, he described how our thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns influence our vibration — and how that vibration can turn certain soul codes on or off, like switches in our DNA. He called them key codes of light.

The more we align with truth, love, and purpose, the more these codes activate.
And when they do, we remember who we really are — and why we’re here.

We each carry these codes.
We each have a flame.
And now, more than ever, the world needs us to remember both.

That’s why I’m writing this series.
Not to teach from a mountaintop, but to walk with you through the fire of transformation.
The flame I carry was awakened in the most painful chapter of my life. And now, it lights the path I walk and the work I do.

In the next post, I’ll explore how menopause — and other midlife thresholds — can be experienced not just as endings, but as initiations into a deeper, more embodied version of who we truly are.

If you’ve felt that something inside you is shifting — even if you’re still in the fog — you’re not alone.

You’re not burning out.
You’re burning through.
And what’s on the other side is more you than you’ve ever known.

This article is part of a 3-part series:

If you’d like to explore these themes more deeply, you can also:

Your flame has always been there.
Now might be the time to let it rise.