Rebuilding my life from the ruins of loss
Five months ago, when my husband passed away, I started to spiral downwards. For a year and half prior to his death, I had tried to keep it together, to be the strong and supportive wife, mother, bread-winner and care giver. I couldn’t imagine how I would heal my broken heart or how I would fill the gaping hole that his passing left behind. When faced with such a dramatic life changing event, my whole world literally turned upside down.
Bob didn’t only fill the after work hours of my life, he was my whole life. He was an amazing, loving father and partner. He greeted the kids off the school bus each day, helped them with their homework and prepared dinner, all with calm, ease and humour. Bob split his time between taking care of our household, helping me in my business and working as a local town councilor. He kept the children happy and our lives running smoothly.
I had a thriving marketing consulting business that I managed mostly from home. Bob and I spent our days working closely together in our large home office in the country, thoroughly enjoying each other’s company.
When he died, I couldn’t fathom how I would be able to fill the void that he left behind. Over time, I realized I couldn’t. I had to look at things from a different perspective. I had to reinvent my life. But, how could I build a new life, especially from the ashes of a life I adored?
I remembered the cartoon picture that my mother hung in our bathroom growing up, which read, “With every door that closes, a window opens”. I believed that life helps us rise to our highest potential in the most difficult of times. But, what could I possibly gain from all this? It occurred to me that the opportunity lay in the empty canvas.
My work had come to a complete stand still. I became a single parent overnight. I began to have an increased awareness of my own mortality and the limited time I had left on this planet. With this, I gained a new appreciation for the importance of maintaining a healthy body and mind. At the same time, I began experiencing the most incredible spiritual awakening of my life. All this started to attract new relationships into my life and change existing ones.
I literally woke up at the age of 46 and realized that the life I had left was an empty canvas, ready to be painted how I wished.
With this awareness and positive intention, I am now determined to create a future for myself and my children that reflects our highest potential. What colours will I use to paint, what shapes will emerge and what shadows? The answer to these questions are yet to be determined. The thought excites me. The potential scares me. But, no matter what, I can’t go back. I have to move forward and that is what I am doing. As I do, I will share my discoveries, trials and tribulations. I hope you will join me as I embark on this journey of discovery.
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Your reflection leaves one speechless. Heart Wrenching, Optimistic, Honest, Creative, Inspiring… What a mirage of emotions stirring the soul. The canvas creation will be inspirational as it unfolds. You are a talented and respected professional with great values. Transformation it is – what a beautiful vision.
Beautiful blog, Lianne- and wonderful to hear how you are feeling and, amazingly, growing in such a difficult time. Your attitude is incredible and inspires me. Thinking of you often and will check back here to see how you are doing!
Hi,
As I read this, I was encouraged by the future looking tone. It sounds like you are beginning to get back up and move forward. Hopefully, I can help you on this journey.
Don
I really enjoyed reading your blog, to me it was insightful, true and inspiring. You are a very strong person and look forward to hearing more about your journey. You chose the right road!
Inder
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