Working through difficult transition without getting stuck in the dark

Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe it is the time of year (November), but the theme of darkness seems to be pervasive. This may not be too surprising, as we are going through a time of great change. Some people refer to this time as the Great Shift in human consciousness. With all transitions a death of some sort accompanies the emergence into a new dawn.

“It is always darkest before the dawn,” it is said. But, how do we work through this necessary stage of our evolution without getting stuck before completing our wondrous metamorphosis?

First, we need to examine the premise that the darkness is a necessary evil (pardon the pun).  Part of the reason relates to our need to shed that which no longer serves us. This can be a very painful process as we shed our illusions, attachments, unhealthy relationships and behaviors. Another important reason for the darkness is to allow us to see contrast. We can not see form without contrast. We can not experience light without darkness. Yet, we resist difficult and painful elements in favor of remaining safe in our cocoons. If we could accept that darkness as part of the process in our journey toward light, our view and response to it would change.

 

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” Richard Bach

This theme has come up in a debate I have been having (with myself) about my boys playing with guns. I have tried to steer them toward more creative and positive forms of play, but they always come back to guns and war games. The more I investigate this issue, the more I feel that this is part of their journey into darkness as they are transitioning through their childhood. On some level they need to work through the good-guy-bad-guy and hunter-provider scenarios that their DNA is insisting.

One of my son’s friends is not allowed to play with any type of toy gun. Each time the boys try to use sticks, coat hangers or other household items as guns (as boys will do), they are thwarted. My boys’ school has gone one step further, banning the children from using their fingers as guns! I realize that the intent behind these rules are good (to maintain peace and teach non violence), but they are going about it the wrong way. It is like trying to enforce birth control with teenagers through abstinence. Suppression has never proven to be a sustainable solution. We need to be free to explore all elements of our psyche, in a safe way and encouraged along a path toward positive expression of Self.

The same is true for adults, especially as we transition. When I turn on the TV, open a newspaper or walk into our video store, I am inundated with images of violence and aggression. The volume and pervasiveness in our culture is astounding! I have decided to turn off mass media completely to avoid this deluge. As I turn to the Internet for information the situation is no less dark – elements of conspiracy theories, alien invasions and Armageddon abound. I realize I can’t shut it all out, nor should I. I need to be informed, aware and to some extend on guard, but how much is too much?

Similarly, the journey through cancer can lead one down a very twisted and dark path. When my husband was first diagnosed with cancer, we immediately threw ourselves into the viper pit of information that abounds in books and on the Internet. It was easy to get swept away by the load of negative statistics and figures, filling every inch of my being with fear. I contemplated completely shutting everything off and just focusing on healing.

In the book, Anatomy of Hope, the author sites research that proves a healthy balance of optimism combined with a realistic perspective offers the best chance of survival for cancer patients.

This is true for any type of crisis or difficult transition. It is not an absence of fear that provides the light of courage, but rather the wisdom, confidence and faith that transmutes fear into positive energy for change.

We need not shy away from darkness, nor do we need to suppress our journeying through darkness. To ensure that we don’t get stuck in a state of emergency, but rather continue in a state of emergence, we need to bring in the light of wisdom, discernment and inner knowing. This Light combined with the loving energy of creativity, passion, service to others, and joy will help complete our metamorphosis.

When my husband passed away from his disease last year, I decided to use the loving energy that I continued to feel for him by channelling it into my work, my writing, my children, as well as my friends and family. While the pain of missing him is still strong, I have managed to create a new life for myself that is simply brilliant!

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