My son asked me if he could buy a Poppy this past week. As I handed him the money, I asked him to think about war and the people who have lost their lives fighting. I explained to him that the best way we could honour their memory is by living in peace.

“If we don’t try to bring peace into our lives and the lives of others, won’t their sacrifices have been in vain?”, I asked.

While the wars that the veterans fought have ended, other wars have sprung up to take their place. We continue to live with conflict not only in the world at large, but in our daily lives. I believe that it is only when there is peace in our homes, communities and throughout the world that we can say we are truly honouring those who fought for us.

The other night, our home’s quiet peace was rocked by an emotionally charged brawl between my two sons, aged eight and ten. The anger and emotion that erupted in them and then in me was very intense. As I tried to diffuse the situation and calm them down, I explained that our home is a place of peace, comfort and security. To maintain this harmony we have but one rule and that is to respect – respect ourselves, each other and our home. We don’t need any other rules, because this one is the barometer by which we measure all else. The fighting that erupted in our household that night was clearly a result of a violation of this rule.

The best way to honour the ones who have fallen in battle is to start by creating peace in our own lives through the higher values of respect, compassion, forgiveness and wisdom. From there, we will begin to create peace in the world.

Like my home, our small Utopian community was rocked by even greater violence last week. On the night before Halloween, just around the corner from my house, an eighteen year old entered a teen party and shoot three youths. The incident apparently involved drugs and gang violence. The mother who held the party was warned by the police that threats were circulating, but she decided to go ahead with the party regardless. This incident sent shock waves throughout our community, with ripples of fear, anger and judgement. I have to admit that I got swept up in the surge. People talked about our high school not being safe, about moving away. There was tremendous anger directed at the mother who demonstrated such poor parental judgement.

I got caught up in criticizing my neighbour – the mother who held the party. While it is incredulous to me that she would hold a party with the potential for violence brewing, I realized that I had no right judging her. She is paying a huge price for her mistake. Instead, I should view her with compassion and forgiveness, rather than judgement and anger.

As I spoke to other mothers worried about the high school, I realized that we have to caution ourselves not to paint the whole student body or institution with the same brush. That same week, I attended our local council meeting and was inspired by a young student at the high school who rallied hundreds of her fellow students to sign a petition to save a local wetland. I returned home from that meeting to another student, my babysitter, who was responsibly looking after my boys. A higher wisdom reminded me that bad and dangerous behavior can happen anywhere and that we shouldn’t judge a whole school or community by the actions of a few.

These recent incidents of fighting and violence close to home provided an important message to me as Remembrance day approaches. The best way to honour the ones who have fallen in battle is to start by creating peace in our own lives through the higher values of respect, compassion, forgiveness and wisdom. From there, we will begin to create peace in the world. Only then will we truly honour their memory.

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