Leave it to my children to push me in ways I never thought possible. My thirteen year old son decided two days ago to “not eat” for a week. My motherly instinct recoiled in horror. You can’t do that! You can’t survive that long without food! You have to be careful. You can’t just will your body with your thoughts.
These were all the thoughts that went through my mind, but luckily I have been practicing mindfulness, which has helped me to observe my thoughts before they come out in potentially harmful words. Far from mastering this technique, I was able to administer a small amount of control over my thoughts and hold back from sharing the fears I had inside.
I am not sure anything I said would have dissuaded him anyways. He was very determined to try this experiment, I think in some way to gain a measure of control over his chaotic teenage world. None the less, it was a great opportunity for me to observe my own fears and patterns of thought around food and self image.
This week I experienced a number of coincidental events that lead me to explore my fears more deeply. There is a new Dove soap video campaign that has gone viral. It depicts a sketch artist drawing images of women first based on how they describe themselves and then by a stranger who met them only briefly. In both cases the artist did not see the woman he sketched. The contrast between the two drawings for each woman was astounding. The women depicted themselves much less attractive than the strangers did. The ad demonstrates how hard we are on ourselves and how this negative self image is potentially harmful.
Also this week, my friend and writing coach, Carolyn Boll, gave me ‘homework’ to do as part of the autobiographical story that I am writing called, “Love will Keep Us Alive.” My assignment is to describe myself in detail both physically and characteristically. I have been procrastinating like crazy. I just can’t seem to get started. The idea of writing about my flaws make me feel very vulnerable and exposed. And, describing my strengths makes me feel shamefully boastful.
Last night in a Chakra Healing workshop lead by my friend, Joanna McDonald, we performed an exercise in which we held up mirrors in front of our faces and declared with great enthusiasm what we loved about ourselves. If our voices or body language belied an authentic sentiment, we had to repeat the exercise until we exuded positive energy. Again, this was a very difficult experience for me and for the other woman at the workshop.
The Dove video, my writing homework, the mirror exercise and the thoughts and fears that came up when my son declared his no-eating challenge helped to illuminate my fears around not having or being enough. Over the last twenty-four hours, I have been observing my own thoughts and feelings as I work with my son to make sure his challenge is done safely (getting nutrients through smoothies and plenty of liquids). When I asked him why he wanted to do it, sensing that maybe it related to body image issues, he said he just wanted to see how it felt. That made me realize that I have always avoided if not feared hunger, not wanting to experience it. I realized from the signs that I received this week that this is an emotion that, like my son, I need to explore more fully. So, I decided to follow his lead and continue the rest of his challenge with him. Hopefully by the end, I will be able to complete my writing assignment and the mirror exercise with more ease. Stay tuned for future blog posts, as I share what I discover.
Lianne Bridges is the founder of Designing Transformation consulting, offering marketing, brand and social media coaching to social entrepreneurs, educators, whole health practitioners, artists and activists who are trying to positively transform the world. She is also the co-founder of the Shift Village network, a community designed to help people do what they love for a living. Lianne is a writer and mother of two boys in the rural community of Hudson, outside of Montreal.
Contact Lianne at: lianne@DesigningTransformation.com
I really enjoyed reading this Lianne. The Dove add had a profound effect on me too. Will look forward to heaing more about your challenge.
Wow so interesting, thank you for sharing this with us. I find it hard to skip one meal let alone 7 days, good luck!
Amazing how synchronicity works… Love it. *smile*. Thanks!
Thanks for your comments and support Val, Catina and Joanna. It is much appreciated.
Sincerely,
hungry 🙂
So interesting Lianne! Yes, how often I find myself exploring the fear of hunger…so many of us (me included are unnecessarily afraid of (and therefore do not allow) this message from our body. When we can embrace hunger as a message, simply that, it begins to be a catalyst to that growing awareness of the beauty and the wisdom of our body. Love how you responded to your son…you continue to be such a beautiful role model of parenting spirit to spirit.